Gender Questioning Children guidance: What does it actually say?
A parent-focused review of the government’s draft guidance for schools in England
Document: Gender Questioning Children: Non-statutory guidance for schools and colleges in England
Published by:Department for Education
Date: December 2023
Status: Draft for consultation (not yet finalised)
Link: Gender Questioning Children: Non-statutory guidance for schools and colleges in England
At a glance
🔴 Bathroom access: No access to affirmed gender facilities; single-occupancy alternative only
🔴 Changing rooms: No access to affirmed gender facilities; single-occupancy alternative only
🔴 Sports and PE: Restricted where safety or fairness is a factor; no exceptions for safety
🟠 Name: Can be changed informally with parental consent and school agreement
🔴 Pronouns: Primary children: no. Older children: expected to be refused in almost all cases
🟠 Uniform: Case-by-case; schools not expected to change policies to accommodate
🟠 Bullying protection: Bullying “must not be tolerated” but limited detail
🔴 Overnight trips: Must share with birth sex or have separate room
🔴 Privacy: Parents must be informed in almost all cases
🔴 Parental involvement: Required in “the vast majority of cases”
🔴 Language: Avoids “transgender”; frames gender identity as “contested belief”
Key: 🟢 Supportive 🟠 Limited or conditional 🔴 Restrictive or denied
Summary
This draft guidance takes a restrictive approach throughout. It frames gender identity as a “contested belief”, avoids using the word “transgender” to describe children, and makes clear there is “no general duty” for schools to support social transition. Parents must be involved in almost all cases, pronouns should rarely if ever be changed, and access to toilets, changing rooms, sports, and sleeping arrangements matching a child’s affirmed gender is effectively prohibited. The guidance emphasises “watchful waiting” and caution, drawing on the Cass Review’s interim findings that social transition is “not a neutral act”.
The detail
Privacy and confidentiality
Will the school tell parents?
What the guidance says: “Where a child requests action from a school or college in relation to any degree of social transition, schools and colleges should engage parents as a matter of priority.” The only exception is “the exceptionally rare circumstances where involving parents would constitute a significant risk of harm to the child.”
If a child simply discloses they are questioning their gender but makes no request for change, “teachers can listen respectfully about a child’s feelings without automatically alerting parents, but, for safeguarding reasons, cannot promise confidentiality.”
What this means: If your child asks for anything at all, you will almost certainly be told. Schools are instructed to inform parents as the default. The threshold for not informing parents is set extremely high: “significant risk of harm”. A child who is not out at home and does not want their parents to know has very little protection under this guidance.
Bathrooms and changing rooms
Will my child be allowed to use the facilities of their affirmed gender?
What the guidance says: “Schools must always protect single-sex spaces with regard to toilets, showers and changing rooms... Responding to a request to support any degree of social transition must not include allowing access to these spaces.”
“Boys must not be allowed to go into the girls’ toilets (and vice versa) in order to protect all children, particularly girls.”
If a child does not want to use facilities matching their birth sex, schools “may wish to consider whether they can provide or offer the use of an alternative toilet facility” which “should be secured from the inside and for use by one child at a time”.
What this means: This is a blanket prohibition. A trans girl cannot use the girls’ toilets. A trans boy cannot use the boys’ toilets. The only option is a single-occupancy alternative, if one exists. The guidance frames this as protecting “all children, particularly girls”, making clear that trans girls are categorised as boys for these purposes.
Sports and PE
Will my child be able to play sports in the team of their affirmed gender?
What the guidance says: “For all sports where physical differences between the sexes threatens the safety of children, schools and colleges should adopt clear rules which mandate separate-sex participation. There can be no exception to this.”
“It would not be safe for a biological boy to participate in certain sports as part of a teenage girls’ team.”
For non-competitive sport, schools should still “prioritise safety” and consider “how safe it would be to allow mixed-sex participation” and “how fair it would be”.
What this means: Trans girls are prohibited from girls’ teams in any sport where safety is considered a factor, with “no exception”. Trans boys may request to play on boys’ teams but this is subject to the school’s assessment of safety and fairness. The guidance applies primarily to older children; “early primary age children” may take “a more relaxed approach”.
Name and pronouns
Will my child be supported in their affirmed name and pronouns?
What the guidance says:
On names: Schools “may allow pupils to change their informal (’known as’) name if they believe it is in the best interests of the child to do so” after “having fully consulted with the child’s parents”. The legal name must remain on the admissions register.
On pronouns: “Primary school aged children should not have different pronouns to their sex-based pronouns used about them.”
For older children: “schools should only agree to a change of pronouns if they are confident that the benefit to the individual child outweighs the impact on the school community. It is expected that there will be very few occasions in which a school or college will be able to agree to a change of pronouns.”
Even when agreed: “no teacher or pupil should be compelled to use these preferred pronouns”.
What this means: Names are possible with parental consent and school agreement. Pronouns are effectively refused for primary-age children and expected to be refused for most older children too. Even when pronouns are agreed, staff and pupils can refuse to use them. The guidance explicitly protects the right to misgender.
Uniform
Can my child wear the uniform of their affirmed gender?
What the guidance says: “A child who is gender questioning should, in general, be held to the same uniform standards as other children of their sex at their school and schools may set clear rules to this effect.”
Schools with flexibility or unisex options may be able to accommodate a request more easily. But “schools would not be expected to develop new uniform policies as a result” of a request.
What this means: If the school already has flexible or unisex uniform, there may be room for accommodation. If not, the default is that your child wears the uniform for their birth sex, and the school is under no obligation to change that.
Bullying
Is my child protected against transphobic bullying?
What the guidance says: “Schools and colleges should be respectful and tolerant places where bullying is never tolerated.”
“In all cases, bullying of any child must not be tolerated. No child should be sanctioned for honest mistakes when adapting to a new way of interacting with another pupil.”
What this means: The guidance says bullying must not be tolerated, but provides little detail on what constitutes transphobic bullying or how schools should address it. The phrase “honest mistakes” suggests that misgendering will generally be treated leniently. There is no specific mention of transphobic bullying as a category.
School trips and overnight stays
Will my child be included and accommodated on residential trips?
What the guidance says: “No child should be allowed to share a room with a child of the opposite sex.”
If a child “does not wish to share a room with another child of the same sex”, schools may seek “alternative arrangements” such as “a suitable separate room”.
What this means: Your child must share with their birth sex or have a separate room. A trans girl cannot share with other girls. The alternative is isolation. This applies to dormitories, tents, and shared rooms.
Parental involvement
Will I be involved in decisions?
What the guidance says: “Parents should not be excluded from decisions taken by a school or college relating to requests for a child to ‘socially transition’.”
“We would expect parental consent to be required in the vast majority of cases.”
What this means: Yes. This guidance places parents firmly in control. Schools are told to engage parents “as a matter of priority” and to require parental consent for most decisions. The child’s own wishes are a factor but not determinative.
The school’s process
What approach does the guidance recommend?
What the guidance says: Schools should “allow for watchful waiting: Wait for a period of time before considering a request, to ensure it is a sustained and properly thought through decision.”
Schools should consider: safeguarding obligations, the view of parents, the age of the child, any clinical information, the “seriousness and context” of the request (including whether the child has been “influenced by peers or social media”), the long- and short-term impact, and the impact on other pupils.
Staff “should not unilaterally adopt any changes, including using a new name or new pronouns, unless or until this has been agreed by the school or college in accordance with the proper procedures”.
What this means: The default is delay and caution. Schools are told to question whether the child has been influenced by external factors. Individual teachers are prohibited from supporting a child until the school has formally agreed. The process is designed to slow things down and raise the threshold for any accommodation.
What’s missing from this guidance?
Any acknowledgement that trans children exist and may benefit from support
Any timescale for “watchful waiting”
Any recognition of the child’s own expertise in their identity
Specific guidance on transphobic bullying
Staff training requirements
Any mention of external support organisations
Guidance on what happens when parents and child disagree
Any route of appeal if a request is refused
Recognition that delay and denial can themselves cause harm
A note on timing
This guidance was published as a draft in December 2023. The consultation closed in March 2024. As of January 2026, it has still not been finalised.
Schools have been left in limbo, many adopting the draft as if it were final, while others wait for clarity. The reasons for the delay have not been explained. Meanwhile, trans children are living with the consequences of guidance that was never meant to be permanent.
Overall assessment
This guidance is restrictive by design. It frames trans identities as a “contested belief”, avoids the word “transgender”, and sets out a process intended to make social transition difficult to achieve. Access to facilities, sports, and sleeping arrangements matching a child’s affirmed gender is effectively prohibited. Pronouns are expected to be refused in almost all cases. Parents are given control, and children’s wishes are treated with suspicion.
The guidance draws heavily on the Cass Review’s interim findings to justify its cautious approach. However, the Cass Review has faced significant criticism from clinicians, researchers, and medical bodies internationally for its methodology and conclusions. Many of the studies it dismissed as “low quality” used the same methods accepted in other areas of medicine. Whether you find the Cass Review persuasive or not, it’s worth noting that this guidance treats its conclusions as settled fact when they remain contested.
For parents of trans children, this guidance represents a significant barrier. Schools that follow it closely will be unlikely to affirm your child in any meaningful way. The language of “watchful waiting” and “safeguarding” is used to justify inaction and delay.
It is also worth noting that this guidance remains in draft form. It has not been finalised. Schools are not legally required to follow it, and some may choose not to. But many schools are already adopting its approach, either in anticipation of final publication or because it aligns with their existing views.
Questions to ask a school using this guidance
How long does your “watchful waiting” period last, and what happens during it?
What would it take for you to agree to use my child’s pronouns?
Where is your single-occupancy toilet, and will using it out my child?
What training have staff received on supporting trans pupils?
What happens if I give consent but the school still refuses a request?
How do you define and respond to transphobic bullying?
What support will my child receive while waiting for decisions to be made?
Have a policy you’d like reviewed?
If your child’s school has a trans policy you’d like me to review, send it to me.
The checklist
This review is based on my checklist of questions every parent of a trans child should ask their school. Read the full checklist here: [link to anchor post]