What should I do if my child says they might be questioning their gender?

Listen first, without deciding what it means yet. Most children exploring their identity need space to think, not immediate answers or plans. The fact that you are here, reading this, already shows you care about getting this right. What part of this feels hardest for you right now?

How do I know if I'm doing the right thing for my child?

Honestly, most parents ask themselves this every single day, and that doubt does not mean you are failing. What matters most is keeping the door open so your child knows they can talk to you, even when neither of you has all the answers. How is your child doing at school at the moment?

A letter to parents who might be scared

Substack 12 February 2026

Letter to parents navigating their child's gender identity

If your child has told you something about their gender, or if you have begun to wonder, the chances are you are holding a lot right now. Fear, love, questions you do not know how to ask, and a deep wish to get this right. Those feelings make complete sense, and they do not mean you are failing your child.

Parenting a child who is exploring their gender identity can feel overwhelming, and many parents worry about getting it wrong. In this open letter, Helen Webberley speaks directly to families navigating this territory, acknowledging the real fears that arise whilst offering perspective grounded in clinical experience and compassion.

Rather than offering reassurance through platitudes, Helen addresses the questions parents actually ask themselves: what does this mean, what comes next, and how do I protect my child whilst respecting their journey? Her approach emphasises that fear is understandable, but it need not drive the conversation.

Read the full letter to discover what Helen wants every parent to know at this moment in their child's life.

In response to: Dear Parent, I know you might be scared (Substack)