Society should make room for trans people because every person matters, whatever the numbers. We already build ramps, braille and sign language for small groups without asking how many need them. Including trans people is the same job, and the real number may well be bigger than we think.
What number is big enough to care about?
It is a question I hear a lot, usually phrased as a reasonable one: the numbers of transgender people are apparently very small, so why should we make such a huge change to accept them? My answer is another question. What number becomes big enough to care?
There is a small number of Jewish people living in the UK. There is a small number of Buddhists. There is a small number of people who have only one leg. I am listing those off the top of my head, and I could go on all day. Nobody would say that those people matter less because there are fewer of them, or that they should go without a place in the world until their numbers grow. Everybody is important, and that is the whole of the principle. A society where only the biggest groups get considered is not one that most of us would want to live in.
If the argument is that a small group is not worth the bother, I would say that is not very kind, and it is not how good people think. Good people think that everybody matters, whatever the colour of their skin or hair, whether they are tall or short, big or small, trans or cis, male or female, pregnant or not.
Is the number of trans people really that small?
I do not think it is. I think there are a lot of people in hiding.
I remember being at university and hearing people say that maybe up to one in ten people might be gay. I thought, whoa, that is a lot of people. I think the same will turn out to be true of gender diverse people. That is my own view and I am not offering it as a citation, but it is based on a simple observation: people do not announce a part of themselves that they have good reason to hide.
Not everybody who was assigned female at birth identifies one hundred per cent as a woman. Not everybody who was assigned male at birth identifies one hundred per cent as a man. There is a whole spectrum in the middle. If we accepted gender diversity, I think many more people would say that they are not really, really, really female, or male, but somewhere in between. That does not mean everyone is going to want medical care or operations. It means that if we allowed flexibility, fluidity and variation in gender identity, instead of a fixed rule that you must be a man or you must be a woman, people would be permitted to be as diverse as they actually are. That matters a great deal.
What does making room actually involve?
It is much smaller than the noise around it suggests. It starts with language.
We were all brought up with she and he. But gender identity is not binary: not everybody is she and not everybody is he. For some people neither fits. The word we already use when we do not know somebody's gender is they. "I hope they turn up soon." "I hope they bring their keys." "I hope they are kind to me at the interview today." We use it all the time, without a second thought. What takes a while is using it for somebody we have been told is a certain way, who is actually somewhere in the middle. Getting your language right does take practice, and that is fine. Practice is what it is for.
Names are the same. Some people find it very hard to say, I am not going to be Alan any more, I am going to be Alice. But what is wrong with that? We change names all the time. People change their surnames when they marry, and nobody makes a fuss. Why can we not change first names?
It is basic respect. If I said to somebody, please do not call me Sarah, I would rather you call me Helen, and they carried on calling me Sarah, I would not be impressed by "but I want to call you Sarah". I do not give a damn what you want to call me. Helen is my name. Using somebody's name and pronouns is the same courtesy, and it costs nothing.
How do we make services inclusive for trans people?
We already know how to do this, because we have done it for other people. These days you are not allowed to run a service that can only be reached by stairs. We make services wheelchair accessible so that they work for people who are able bodied and people who are less so. We provide sign language for people who are hard of hearing. We provide braille for people who read by touch. We make services accessible for people with differences, which means we make them accessible for everybody.
It is time for our services to be accessible to trans people too. So look at where you work or what you run. If you put up two doors, one for men and one for women, where do people go who do not identify as either? In your school, your college, your library, your shop, your surgery: have you got that right? And if you do not know how, taking the sign off the door and saying that everybody is welcome is a start. Toilets should tell you what facilities are behind the door, not who is allowed to exist.
The adaptations are not large. And even if the numbers of trans people were very small, we would still need to make them, because the point of an inclusive service is that there is a place in it for everybody.
What should a policy say about trans people?
If you provide a service or employ people, start with your policy and your protocol. Does it include trans people? Are trans people welcome in your workplace? Are there facilities that work for trans women, trans men and non-binary people?
In the UK, trans people are protected under the Equality Act 2010 through the characteristic of gender reassignment, and anybody who feels they have been treated unfairly can look at what you have written down. Your policies and protocols are the first thing that gets examined. So they need to provide equal access for everyone, and they must not leave you open to a claim of discrimination against trans people. A policy that separates people by sex while shutting trans people out is the kind that gets organisations into trouble.
If you do not have a policy aimed specifically at trans people, you need one. It should say what provision your service makes for trans employees, for trans people visiting, and for trans people using the service. And it should treat trans people exactly the same as cis people. A trans man is a man, and a trans woman is a woman. If your policy would not send a man into the women's facilities, it cannot send a trans man there; if it would not send a woman into the men's, it cannot send a trans woman. Non-binary people need somewhere to go as well, so say where.
Write down what a trans person should do, where they should go, and what benefits, perks and restrictions apply to them, and check that none of it excludes them. If your policy allows for discrimination, you are going to be in trouble. If it is clear and fair, you will save yourself a great deal of it. Nobody wants to end up in an employment tribunal accused of harassment, discrimination or prejudice, and it nearly always comes back to a policy that was never properly written.
If you are finding the wording tricky, you can bring it to Sammy on this site, who can help you phrase it so that it is inclusive of everybody.
So why does it matter?
Because everybody matters, and because good human nature says that if you are providing something for the public, the public includes people who are different from you. If you do not like to see other people feeling sad, anxious, worried or shut out, you already know the answer. We include people so that everybody gets the best chance at life. Trans people are not a small inconvenience to be managed. They are neighbours, colleagues, customers, friends and family, and making space for them is simply part of doing the job properly.
If there is a topic that you would like me to cover, just let Sammy know.
Dr Helen Webberley
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