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Webberleyisms · the revised collection

Things Helen actually said. Now you can wear them.

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I asked her what she wanted. Apparently that was the problem.They had empathy training. I had empathy.

Said once. Worn daily.

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From £30
Someone will write a report about you eventuallySomeone will write a report about you eventually£30You’ll be fine. You’re always f*cking fine.You’ll be fine. You’re always f*cking fine.£30I asked her what she wanted. Apparently that was the problem.I asked her what she wanted. Apparently that was the problem.£30Say it again, slowly, for the recordSay it again, slowly, for the record£30I answered all the questions. He asked them again.I answered all the questions. He asked them again.£30I spelled it for him. He spelled it wrong.I spelled it for him. He spelled it wrong.£30You asked if I was sure. I asked if you were qualified.You asked if I was sure. I asked if you were qualified.£30They called it reckless. I called it Tuesday.They called it reckless. I called it Tuesday.£30They had empathy training. I had empathy.They had empathy training. I had empathy.£30I didn’t do anything clever. I just did something.I didn’t do anything clever. I just did something.£30They judged the file. I met the person.They judged the file. I met the person.£30I wasn’t wrong. I was early.I wasn’t wrong. I was early.£30Somebody has to go first, and it won’t be youSomebody has to go first, and it won’t be you£30He called it a phase. It’s outlasted his career.He called it a phase. It’s outlasted his career.£30I’ll apologise when you doI’ll apologise when you do£30You pretend to refer me and I’ll pretend to waitYou pretend to refer me and I’ll pretend to wait£30They’re playing the quarter. I’m playing the decade.They’re playing the quarter. I’m playing the decade.£30I’m not asking. I’m telling you kindly.I’m not asking. I’m telling you kindly.£30You can have the last word. I’ve got a lifeYou can have the last word. I’ve got a life£30She said she’d never seen one of me beforeShe said she’d never seen one of me before£30I’m not the problem you can solveI’m not the problem you can solve£30Still here. Still waiting. Still right.Still here. Still waiting. Still right.£30I trusted the process. The process didn’t trust me.I trusted the process. The process didn’t trust me.£30I was nice to her. They asked me why.I was nice to her. They asked me why.£30I was kind. They found that aggressive.I was kind. They found that aggressive.£30They sent me to someone who sent me backThey sent me to someone who sent me back£30We’ll be in touch. They were not in touch.We’ll be in touch. They were not in touch.£30I said it’s been nine f*cking years. They wrote down “hostile”.I said it’s been nine f*cking years. They wrote down “hostile”.£30Give it twenty years. They’ll teach this.Give it twenty years. They’ll teach this.£30Ask me again when you’ve seen oneAsk me again when you’ve seen one£30I’m not saying you were wrong. You were, though.I’m not saying you were wrong. You were, though.£30You’ll cite me eventuallyYou’ll cite me eventually£30

For the long haul.

Warm, heavy crewnecks. One for every waiting list.

From £48
I asked her what she wanted. Apparently that was the problem.I asked her what she wanted. Apparently that was the problem.£48I spelled it for him. He spelled it wrong.I spelled it for him. He spelled it wrong.£48You asked if I was sure. I asked if you were qualified.You asked if I was sure. I asked if you were qualified.£48They called it reckless. I called it Tuesday.They called it reckless. I called it Tuesday.£48I didn’t do anything clever. I just did something.I didn’t do anything clever. I just did something.£48They judged the file. I met the person.They judged the file. I met the person.£48I wasn’t wrong. I was early.I wasn’t wrong. I was early.£48Somebody has to go first, and it won’t be youSomebody has to go first, and it won’t be you£48He called it a phase. It’s outlasted his career.He called it a phase. It’s outlasted his career.£48You pretend to refer me and I’ll pretend to waitYou pretend to refer me and I’ll pretend to wait£48They’re playing the quarter. I’m playing the decade.They’re playing the quarter. I’m playing the decade.£48You can have the last word. I’ve got a lifeYou can have the last word. I’ve got a life£48I’d rather be kind and average than careful and uselessI’d rather be kind and average than careful and useless£48I’m not the problem you can solveI’m not the problem you can solve£48Still here. Still waiting. Still right.Still here. Still waiting. Still right.£48I trusted the process. The process didn’t trust me.I trusted the process. The process didn’t trust me.£48I was kind. They found that aggressive.I was kind. They found that aggressive.£48

Something to hold while you wait.

For the appointment letters, the hold music and the reply that never came.

£16
Someone will write a report about you eventuallySomeone will write a report about you eventually£16Say it again, slowly, for the recordSay it again, slowly, for the record£16They called it reckless. I called it Tuesday.They called it reckless. I called it Tuesday.£16They had empathy training. I had empathy.They had empathy training. I had empathy.£16I didn’t do anything clever. I just did something.I didn’t do anything clever. I just did something.£16I wasn’t wrong. I was early.I wasn’t wrong. I was early.£16I’ll apologise when you doI’ll apologise when you do£16I’m not asking. I’m telling you kindly.I’m not asking. I’m telling you kindly.£16Still here. Still waiting. Still right.Still here. Still waiting. Still right.£16I trusted the process. The process didn’t trust me.I trusted the process. The process didn’t trust me.£16I was kind. They found that aggressive.I was kind. They found that aggressive.£16They sent me to someone who sent me backThey sent me to someone who sent me back£16We’ll be in touch. They were not in touch.We’ll be in touch. They were not in touch.£16Give it twenty years. They’ll teach this.Give it twenty years. They’ll teach this.£16I’m not saying you were wrong. You were, though.I’m not saying you were wrong. You were, though.£16You’ll cite me eventuallyYou’ll cite me eventually£16
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